Conflict Resolution Plan
Additional Information on Chapter 2, page 22
One does not need to be married to establish excellent conflict-resolution skills. In fact those who have learned to resolve conflict early in the relationship are likely to continue those healthy patterns on into their marriage. There are couples who fight like cats and dogs throughout the course of a relationship. One wonders why anyone would wish to live that way, and the couple who constantly fights often seems oblivious to the ridiculous expenditure of energy. We're given one lifetime here on earth, why would anyone want to spend it fighting and arguing? In any marriage, conflict will occur and even the most peace-loving couples will have occasional discord but a good marriage can easily survive the occasional conflict. However a relationship characterized by ongoing conflict is difficult to comprehend.
If you are one who simply enjoys fighting and have no desire to change, then skip to a different topic. But, for the majority, there is agreement on two simple realities: 1) Arguing makes both parties feel miserable, and 2) Arguing is one of the least effective ways of resolving conflict. If you prefer to live a life together in which conflict is not the destructive norm, then some proactive thinking prior to the marriage is in order. What follows is a model that provides effective ways to minimize or eliminate destructive forms of conflict.
The model identifies a structure that in most cases can be adapted to fit the needs of any couple. The earlier they establish a set of actions based on this model the more likely they are to establish long-term conflict resolution skills. Once again, anyone using this model will need to understand the basic components and adapt them to fit their situation.
