Ideal Other: Lists and Coding
| Article Index |
|---|
| Ideal Other: Lists and Coding |
| Lists of Qualities |
| Coding of Desired Qualities |
| All Pages |
The objective of this link is to provide you an array of qualities and characteristics under each of the ten topics designed to assist you in creating a picture of your ideal other. We follow the order of topics from the Ideal Other Chart-located at the end of the chapter and available (in larger size) under the tools icon in this chapter.
Many of the 168 items listed will apply and many will not. The primary function of this list is to cue ideas. The concept or feature mentioned may not apply but it may cue ideas of things that do apply. For instance under the Social and Relational category #2 identifies "loving vs. unloving". Now it is the rare person who wants someone who is unloving, but you might think, "you know, I want to marry someone who loves to touch, snuggle, and enjoys a lot of physical contact in general." Now the original phrase deals with a different issue but jogged your memory about an important quality. Also some of the words or phrases are stated in the negative (e.g., needy, prejudiced or racist) because the negative phrase might cue something that a positive phrase wouldn't. Some of these items are placed on a continuum to help you realize that a range of possibilities exist. For instance, #5 is critical vs. appreciative. Now, only someone who is verifiably insane would want someone who is habitually critical. There are some, however, who want to marry someone who will is direct, honest and will let them know if they are out of line. Once again we have bypassed the central idea (critical vs. appreciative) but the topic has cued a quality that is important.
The lists are, of course, not comprehensive. But if you wish to complete an excellent profile of yourself, these items should cue ideas you had not previously considered.
After the lists of qualities, we shift to discuss the important issue of the coding of qualities. Recall from The Compatibility Code that the four codings are:
- Required
- Highly desirable
- Desirable
- Preference
